Not Every Book Is For You: Overcome Fear Of Rejection & Embrace Your Craft

Picture this: You're at a prestigious art museum and you see a painting that consists of a single line. You look around at everyone in the room in an attempt to gauge their reactions, flabbers absolutely gasted because you can't believe someone was able to get this displayed. In your mind—or perhaps even out loud—you declare, "I could easily make this."

Now, picture this: You're reading a book that you've heard good things about. For a similar reason to the painting, you're left dumbfounded at how something like this could get published. Suddenly, you're scrolling through reviews on Goodreads, trying to determine if anyone else is as confused about the five-star reviews as you are.

The fact of the matter is, not every piece of art is going to resonate with you. And it's certainly not going to resonate with the entirety of the population. You can't please everyone, and more importantly, you don't need to. For every person rolling their eyes, there's another who is deeply moved.

The Reality Of Negative Feedback

We always have this little voice in the back of our heads that is, for lack of better terms, a grade-A jerk. That voice is constantly whispering about rejection. What an ugly word, right?

This internal chatter can be traced back to the brain's natural tendency to protect us from threats, also known as our negativity bias. We are quite literally wired to pay more attention to potential failures because, way back when in the ancient times of our ancestors, it was essential for survival. Your brain wants to keep you in the safe zone.

Today, negativity bias manifests as our amplification of self-criticism. But luckily for us, our brains are adaptable. If you start focusing on your personal growth above all else, you silence that voice. Neuroplasticity, aka the unwiring of the wires, means that you can teach yourself to see rejection for what it is and keep it pushing.

Start telling yourself that rejection isn't life-or-death, it's simply part of the process. In fact, some of the most successful authors in the world have faced more rejection than they can count. You've likely heard the tales about how F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby was turned down by multiple publishers, and yet it now serves as a high school English class staple. Our boy Fitzy didn't let his inner critic win, and you shouldn't either.

Rejection Serves As A Stepping Stone

As much as we don't want to hear negativity in our own minds, we certainly don't want to hear it from others. Perhaps that's why you have been sitting on the manuscript you've been writing for literal years rather than putting it out into the universe. (Don't look at me! Do as I say, not as I do!)

Rejection is actually a sign that you're doing it right. It means you're taking a chance on yourself, which is the most meaningful, powerful thing you can do. Because what's the alternative? Never trying at all? No thanks!

When your work gets a bad review—or you hear someone claiming they could do it better—it's easy to spiral into self-doubt. But instead of focusing on the negativity, take it with a grain of salt and turn it into constructive feedback. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? A single negative comment doesn't erase the impact of your work, although it could help you improve in the next go-round.

Life is all about pushing boundaries. Experimenting. Going against your instinct to play it safe. And yes, that means getting some mixed reactions along the way. But if you try to please everyone you'll end up with a piece of work that doesn't even check your own boxes.

Developing Your Voice & Confidence

Think about the most self-assured person you've met. What is it about them that just screams "confidence"? What traits of theirs do you wish you had?

It's important to recognize that confidence isn't something you are born with. Something that is really driven home at a business I write for (shoutout to Moxie Institute) is that confidence is a muscle. Just like any muscle, it grows stronger the more you use it. And just like when you hit leg day at the gym, the first few reps might feel painful and the aftermath might leave you sore, but that's how growth works.

That means the more you share your work, the more you'll become comfortable with feedback of all kinds. Therefore, the negative mumbo jumbo won't sting as much. As you make it a point to regularly affirm yourself and your skills, you'll begin to realize that a rejection is a blip on the radar, not the end of the world. The only thing that defines you is whether you keep going, not whether a keyboard warrior slanders you on Goodreads.

Your writing is a reflection of your unique perspective. So, don't be afraid to let your individuality shine through in your craft. It gets you one step closer to finding the audience who will connect with your work. After all, that painting of a line made it up in a prestigious art museum, didn't it?

Happy writing!

~Meg